This morning I was flipping through my Bible when I stumbled upon Romans 12:6-8, it says:
Since Zack and I have moved and found ourselves in a career change, I have really been trying to figure out my spiritual gifts, and how I can best use them where God has me. Certain things have been fairly obvious, like my relational skills and leadership abilities… I have easily figured out where those are needed in my new career. But other abilities and passions seem to be a bit harder to adjust.
I know that at this moment in our lives, God has me right where he wants me, there are many things that have fallen together that have proved this to me, despite my initial resistance.
But just because I know I am at a place of God’s choosing, it doesn’t mean things have been easy. I have had to process a lot of big changes, and being a person that hates change… it’s been really rough. One of the big things I have been struggling with, is letting go of all the passion for other careers and plans I have had previously in my heart.
I have spent my whole life running away from the very place God has put me right now, and getting to a point of accepting that this is where God wanted me all along has been difficult. I have wondered constantly why God has given me these other passions if he doesn’t intend for me to use them.
What I am learning now, is that God doesn’t necessarily want me to let go of these passions, but instead he is using them in a completely different way…
For example, I have a serious passion for Doernbecher Children’s Hospital. (As mentioned.) I have this aching in my heart for the kids there, and a serious motivation to bring them joy despite their less than joyful experiences. Before I moved, the only way I knew how to do that was by working there… and believe me, I applied to countless positions hoping to get in somewhere. But it never worked out, I never even made it past an initial phone interview!
Fast forward to a few weeks ago, and I discovered that I still held on to some bitterness and resentment. I just didn’t understand, why would God put this passion in my heart if I wasn’t supposed to pursue it.
And then, right on cue, something amazing happened.
Through our new job, Zack and I had the pleasure of delivering ice cream to the kids, staff, and families at Doernbecher Children’s Hospital. It was an incredible opportunity that came somewhat randomly, and it rocked my heart in a good way.
Time and time again God has continued to show me his sense of humor. He has reminded me over and over again to trust. In his plans for my life, his timing, and his love for me. He has plans to prosper and help me, and sometimes that’s easy to forget when I get so wrapped up in my own thoughts and desires.
I have these passions in my heart for a reason, and God will use them—I know it now! I just have to be patient and wait for the opportunity.
Life almost never works out the way we are planning it in our heads, but lucky for us we have a wonderful God that has big plans for us, better than any we could think up ourselves. I know now that he has given me these gifts and passions for a reason, I just need to seek him constantly and wait for the opportunity to use them for his glory.